


remembering

by odetodun



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A Little Bit O' Angst, Happy Ending, bucky is trying to remember, hes just a sad man, it barely works, just two old dudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 23:12:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10864098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetodun/pseuds/odetodun
Summary: four times bucky couldn't remember and one time he did.





	remembering

**1**

 

Bucky had been at the Avengers tower for seventy-two days, five hours and sixteen minutes. He liked to keep count, time was the only thing that felt constant to him right now. He had regular checkups with Bruce, Bruce was patient enough to deal with Bucky even if he was having a particularly gruesome day.  Steve left a lot for small missions, Bucky could see him itching to talk to him but Steve allowed Bucky as much space as he needed. Bucky’s memories were only coming back in fractions but the more that came back prior to the Winter Soldier, the same amount came back of his days as the assassin. Nightmares wormed their way into his sleep, but he always knew someone else in the building was awake as well. Stark rarely slept, it had taken him the longest of the Avengers to accept Bucky and Bucky didn’t blame him. Stark’s reaction to fight them at first didn’t concern Bucky, he had every right to be angry at them. The pair had sat down since, Bucky apologising as much as he could. Bucky had known Howard, and Howard had died by his hands. But Tony got used to it, now the friction between them was less evident. Bucky came to understand that Steve and Tony bickered uselessly all the time anyway, with the help of Clint. Leaning over his balcony and looking down on New York city, everything looked and felt unfamiliar. This used to be his home but now, more than ever, it felt alien to him. There was a knock on his door and Bucky jumped, hesitant to answer it. But when he did it was only Steve, looking tired but holding a warm smile.

 

“Couldn’t sleep” Steve said and Bucky opened the door wider for him. Certain attributes of Steve still felt foreign to him, Bucky’s small amount of memories mostly showed a smaller and more fragile version of the man stood in front of him. They shared the balcony, Steve had admitted one night that waking up in this city after the years he spent in ice was overwhelming.

 

“One night, you forced me to go out dancing one night. These two girls practically fought over you but you got bored after a hour, made us find some food and we took the longest walk home ever. I had an asthma attack two blocks from our apartment and threw up hotdog all over your shoes, I don’t think you’ve ever laughed as hard” Steve said, he usually dropped small stories on Bucky so not to overdo it but hopefully provoke some kind of remembering. Bucky couldn’t remember this one, but he smiled as Steve told the story of simpler times.

 

**2**

Eighty-one days, fourteen hours and thirty minutes Bucky thought to himself as he made himself breakfast in the group kitchen.

 

“Steve was telling about that time you lost a bet to - Dum Dum – that was it, and you flashed your ass in the middle of a battlefield” Sam said, leaning against the fridge. Steve chuckled behind him and Bucky’s smile quirked up slightly.

 

“Did that actually happen?” Bucky asked and Steve nodded.

 

“Hand on heart, you flashed your ass to Nazi’s” Steve laughed, causing both Sam and Bucky to laugh as well. It was the first time in a while that Bucky had properly laughed, Steve smiled warmly at him. Steve and Sam exchanged a small look that Bucky couldn’t interpret. Something inside him told him that the old Bucky would’ve been able to see what Steve was thinking.

 

**3**

One hundred and four days, twenty hours and ten minutes. The Avengers sat down for a group meal, something they didn’t get to do regularly as they were all usually busy. Even Thor had joined the, Thor was odd and very amusing. Steve had told Bucky about Asgard and aliens and Bucky had been even more confused than when he met Thor. Bucky was in between Steve and Nat, Nat and Bucky had hit it off instantly. They trusted each other, knew more about each other than they’d care to admit. Clint was telling a story about how he had stolen something when Steve chimed in.

 

“Bucky and I used to steal cigarettes, for him of course, one time my own mother ended up catching us and we both got the biggest telling off we’ve ever experienced. Bucky never once got on the wrong side of my Ma after that, I think he was almost scared of her” Steve said, a few laughs after the story. Bucky had started to feel guilty when he didn’t remember things, something in his brain urged him to allow these memories to form but it never worked. Bucky only remembered that he used to smoke recently, it was something small that had clicked but none of this fit around it. Bucky hated it.

 

**4**

One hundred and twenty days, twenty three hours and thirty seven minutes. Bruce had told him that his brain activity was getting back to normal and that more things should start to fall into place, was that why listening to Steve talk was tugging something inside Bucky? Or every time Steve walked into a room Bucky would allow himself to smile? It all seemed natural to him, but still everything was so vague. Bucky knew that Steve was important to him, had started to realise that from the moment he first saw him. But everything about Steve before was blurred and skewed and Bucky didn’t know what to believe.

    Bucky had woken in a rage, kicking off his covers and screaming. Steve had found him tugging on his metal arm, shouting about needing it off. Steve had managed to calm him, sit him down and allow Bucky to breathe. He had gone to reassure the others but returned quickly to sit by Bucky.

 

“There was a night where I was particularly sick, I had had a high fever for four days and you were losing your mind. My body couldn’t handle the sickness, everything I got hit with was ten times worse than it should have been. I think it was just the flu this time. But you sat by me all night, I don’t think you slept for those four days. Every hitch in my breathing you’d be there, I think you were checking I was still alive,” Steve said, his eyes sad as he watched Bucky, “you told me that if you could take all of my sickness yourself you would, just to make sure that I was okay”. Steve finished, looking down at his hands. Bucky felt terrible, he couldn’t remember this and it seemed so significant to Steve.

 

“If I could take all of this from you Bucky, make sure you were safe even if it ruined me, I would” Steve said quietly as Bucky started to drop off again. He fell asleep with a soft thank you on his lips.

 

**5**

One hundred and fifty two days, seventeen hours and twenty minutes. Bucky sat in his room, watching as Steve sketched. This setting felt familiar to him but he couldn’t place it again.

 “It was hot outside one year, and you got so bored of me sketching and ignoring you that you decided to start tickling me. I laughed so hard I got hiccups and you spent an hour trying to scare them out of me” Steve chuckled.

 

“I remember how I stopped them” Bucky said without thinking and he did, for the first time in months Bucky remembered something.

 

“It was our first kiss, you wouldn’t stop hiccupping and I got so annoyed that I kissed you. It shut you up and stopped the hiccups” Bucky said, looking towards Steve. Steve was welling up, his eyes blue eyes ready to spill. Bucky moved slightly so he was more in front of Steve and tenderly leant forward to kiss his forehead.

 

“Something’s been telling me we had more than just friendship” Bucky said and Steve chuckled slowly. They kissed, for the first time in seventy years they kissed and Bucky hadn’t felt anything like it in all that time. Steve was slow and unpractised but as was Bucky, they both ended up laughing into the kiss and resting their heads together.

 

“I can’t believe you remembered that” Steve said, minty breath fanning Bucky’s face.

 

“How could I forget that Stevie?” Bucky replied, warm smile filling his face as Steve blushed at the nickname. This was them, this was what Bucky had been missing and what felt so right. Finally, Bucky had remembered.

**Author's Note:**

> woo I wrote this in like half an hour I'm sorry if its mediocre I just had some stevebucky inspiration!!


End file.
